Most of us parents are usually deep down believe that, despite all the errors committed against our children, they will grow up to be good people simply because we truly love them.
This thought soothes and comforts us — we have invented for ourselves a concept and called it “Parental Love”, considering that this is enough. More or less, with achievements and rewards or shouting and punishment — most importantly to Love. Love? Know in fact that love? So everything is OK…
But if it is here lies the main error?
Psychoanalyst Alice Miller once remarked that, — “it’s possible to sincerely and deeply love child – but not the love that he needs” And if it is true — and I think, correct to speak not about, “do we love our children” – and not even about “how we love” HOW we love them.
And when we allow the idea that it is — immediately comes the understanding that love of something can be quite different.
And the most common type of love — the love is due to the behavior of the child — that is, children love “deserve” — by behaving in the way we believe is right or matching our standards. The second type of love is not dependent Continue reading