What to do if a child steals?
Five main causes of child stealing
1. Lack of attention from parents.
Under-loved children try to draw attention to themselves at least in this way – see, I’m a thief! By the way, with the object of theft can be anything. And stealing stuff from mom’s purse here is the most “harmless” option.
2. The need to prove oneself.
One cool chasing a ball, the second on math all the time the hand pulls up. But if neither – how to stand out? I’d love to buy a cool feature, so everyone crowded to see! Especially for teenagers.
When money “account no” when mom and dad are randomly dropping off the papers in the pockets and drawers of the chest, the child can be difficult to resist.
5. The extortion by the senior guys – this happens most often in the courts or schools.
If the child was seen in the theft :
– don’t threaten the child in case of refusal to admit guilt. Your obvious aggression will immediately lead to a dead end. Better to ask straight, whether it took someone else’s property, rather than trying to force him to admit defeat and the fact that he is a “thief”.
don’t call him a thief, no lifts shortcuts predicting future criminal.
– not compare him with other children or with you in your childhood, not to ensure that he felt ashamed and depressed (“I’m ashamed of you,” “none of the parents do not have to blush”, “My son didn’t have to do that”, etc.);
– do not make the judgment seat for every, even minor misdemeanor child – otherwise he will hide from you all;
– not to discuss the problem with strangers in the presence of a child. The Golden rule of parenting says: scold in publish, praise – at all.
– do not refer to the child with rhetorical questions like, “How could you?” etc. – it is totally useless and even harmful .
– don’t go back to what happened after the situation has been dismantled), because you only screw this act in consciousness of the child.
– do not remind the child about what happened, if he committed another offense, unrelated to the burglaries.
Remember that theft can be a response to family difficulties, errors in the system of education.
The main mistakes in parenting that can provoke a child theft include the following:
the lack of consistency in the education, when in one situation the child is punished, and the other “close my eyes” on offense: threatening to punish, but punish;
the inconsistency of requirements of adults (Pope permits, and the mother forbids);
“double standard” – when the suggestions and requirements of parents disagree with their actions in the same situation (for example, parents are told the child, “to take someone else’s,” but they bring with the work that “bad lies”. The child, believing in the authority and infallibility of parents, following their example and could not understand why criticize him, if he acts like mom and dad.);
the situation of permissiveness, the education of the child in the style of “the idol of the family”: a child grows up with the thought “I am the best and only”, it is difficult to learn to respect the views of others, because it focuses only on your desires and interests. These children, once in the peer group, continue to behave the same way as in the family, but very quickly get from children “feedback” – they don’t want to communicate. They truly do not understand why to take what they want. And the parents start blaming other children in harmful influence on their “miracle child”;
total control over the behavior and actions of the child. While some children are active “defensive” position, constantly showing stubbornness and engaging in a quarrel on any occasion. And the other “go underground” and continued making blameworthy older acts, but in those moments when they do not pay attention.
What parents can do to prevent cases of theft . Talk to your child about stealing. This discussion should include the concept of what is and what is not stealing. Such a conversation, depending on the child’s abilities, you can spend at the age of four to five years. Explain to your child that stealing is bad.
Your child should know that you cannot touch someone else’s things without permission.
Make sure your child knows that stealing can cause the loss of friends, loss of trust, and unpleasant feelings after the theft.
The child should know that from your side will be followed by decisive action with nasty consequences. The child must return the thing to the owner or to pay for it. If your child has no money, he has to perform additional work to earn money. The child should be responsible for wrong actions.
If your child steals from other children and the items it needs (pencils, paper and pens), explain to him that you cannot take other people’s stuff, and it is better just to ask all the necessary parents – you buy him everything he needs.
Remove things you do not want your child took, in those places where he will not be able to reach them.
Explain to your child that he in the near future will be able to get a certain thing. This will teach your child patience and deferred compensation.
If your child is stealing, you have to stop it – but only if you are absolutely sure of the facts. Nothing hurts harder than unjust accusation. You need to tell him that his behavior is unacceptable, but at the same time, it is important to reassure the child that love him very much – even if not now approve of his behavior.
Think before you begin to take decisive action. Undoubtedly, the theft should be punished, but only if you are sure that the child thinks this punishment is fair. Perhaps your rigor will not only deliver him from evil inclinations, and only will provoke a lot of other, equally harmful actions. Having survived the punishment, the child will most likely learn to Dodge, to be secretive, to deceive, afraid to be exposed. But is it only the fear of punishment keeps kids from wanting to take someone else’s?
In conclusion we can say that the overall strategy of behaviour of parents in relation to the theft of their children should depend on the causes of the child’s behavior, the elucidation of which is a matter of Prime importance. But in any case it must be remembered that the appearance of such an alarm signal, as theft, indicates that your child lacks love and attention .