The Influence of conflict on the child
It would seem, what could be better family for the child, because the family is instititute who invests in the child’s ability to communicate, interact, gives fully develop the child’s personality.
But such a development, the child receives only when the family is the role model for a child when in a family there is a mutual understanding and respect, love and patience.
When communication is broken, then that University is the strongest tool to destroy the personality of this child, violating all the laws of proper communication and interaction between people. And the child, instead of development and improvement, receives the destruction and degradation of the individual.
The impact of conflict on child
The article “the Role of family in child development” we looked at the importance of family in child development and how it is affected by the absence of one parent.
Of course, it affects badly on the child but if the child observes the frequent scandals in the family, in which parents are insulting each other, humiliate, if there is physical abuse, then it does not lead to violation of personality, as in the case of absence of a parent, and lead to its collapse.
The child is not just a missing model behavior: the good mother affectionate, and so forth, and his father was a confident, independent and strong. And there is a wrong model of behavior, and it plays a huge role in his adult life. After all, few people know that the model behavior in a child’s life is up to 5 years, and everything that he absorbs everything he sees, he will carry through his entire life. Moreover, if he watches the beatings, cruel treatment, it leads to mental disorders, often children in such families are resorting to suicide, run away from home, are aggressive and disrespectful, they have violated the values and knowledge about what is good and what is bad.
So, the son, watching as his father offended the mother, the child may cease to respect her, not to listen to her and so on, but more important than that to the mother of such an attitude, it’s horrible. But worse, the life of the son will be broken, because afterwards he will not be able to interact with women, his understanding of how to communicate with the opposite sex will be distorted, and if he would find a life partner, then the marriage will not be happy.
The same girl who witnesses such an attitude to the mother repeats her fate is not so in my life and she doesn’t understand that it is bad. All she understands, but it is not formed self-respect as a woman, how a man should treat a woman and how a woman should conduct themselves. Thus, often provoking and doing all that a man had behaved aggressively, as if over and over again proving to myself that abuse this is an axiom.
And if the family broke up and there is no second parent, with the help of psychologists, counseling them on how to behave, you can grow a perfectly healthy person. But, watching cursing parents (I mean not simple quarrels, and quarrels with serious physical abuse or severe abuse, those that lead to the disintegration of the family), even when working psychologist the child will not grow healthy never, a psychologist can adjust in one direction or another, but about the correct and healthy development.
The paradox is that in modern families, where there is no authoritarianism, and all tend towards equality, which, of course, leads to lots of arguments, but also to more severe manifestations, and, respectively, and consequences.
The current approach in the family does not allow you to avoid these quarrels.
Thus, our task is to minimize the consequences of such quarrels for the child and, of course, for You.
Because often, if you do not openly argue and pretend that everything is fine, the child feels that something is wrong, and this is reflected in his unstable behavior and psycho – emotional violations.
How to minimize the consequences if the scandal took on all the bad rules and it was watched or heard the child?
1. You must talk with the child, tell him that you love and dad (even if not feel), and that what you said, it is a mistake, so it is impossible. What, actually, dad (or mom) is a good, caring and so on.
2. Reconciling with the spouse, it is important to do it in front of the child, apologizing for his words and showing positive emotions towards him.
3. Going to call the child, hug him, tell him how you love him and love each other.
If Your conflicts are more serious, if there is physical, if reconciliation is impossible, then it is already possible to consult with a psychologist, the specialists of our service Love-911, understand Your situation, will be able to say what I needed to do to establish your personal life and to ensure the healthy development of your child.
It often happens that when the disintegration of the family and the unhelpful attitude of the child by, for example, father, mom not looking for a replacement for a long time, then, as to establish his personal life this is one of the best ways to help your child. Of course, there are some difficulties, as it is necessary to look for a decent replacement that he loved both You and the child, but not doing much worse, as the child will have a role model, he will have a good behavior as between the parents, which means that it will properly communicate with the opposite sex, and interact and it. And he will model the behavior of both female and male parental warmth, which is necessary for the stability of the child’s psychological condition.
Of course, it is important to consider the age of the child. Here, the younger the child, the easier it will be to establish the relationship of the child and stepfather-to-be. If the child is in adolescence, it is important to know the details of, on the basis of which we can speak about the impact a new relationship on its development and perception.
Thus, it is Important to remember that it is not enough to raise a child in an intact family, it is important that the family was harmonious and loving, and it felt a child. Only the family will be of benefit to the child and his personal development.