Children after parents divorce
Divorce — severe psychological experience for all members of the former family. Of course, the main participants of this drama — adults. They are busy sorting out of relations, division of property, the prosecution of each other in what is happening, scheduling “parent”, the arrangement of a new life. But the main audience will become their children. Their opinions are no one asks, they are forced to silently watch the actions of parents and….continue to love them. Can children after the divorce of his parents to be happy and not feel deprived?
Everything, absolutely everything, depends on the behavior of parents towards their child or children. This situation is like no other, allows you to show your parents your love for the child and responsibility towards him. No matter how hard the situation is for adults, each parent must take the time to think how to behave with the child, so as not to injure him even more, and Vice versa to reduce the risk of psychological problems in the child to a minimum. Naturally, the style of behavior of the parents depends on the age of the child and the relationships in the family until the beginning of unpleasant events. But there are some General guidelines for those mums and dads who want to raise a happy their children after divorce. It is quite obvious moments, but they elude the adults. So,
Regardless of age, the child will still receive the stress.
Some naive dads and moms think that if the child is 16 years of age, their divorce will be painful for him, because he begins his own personal life, interest in the opposite sex and their personal problems. Although at this age the teenager builds his future line of conduct with the opposite sex. The negativity that has arisen between the parents, can greatly affect his attitude to family life. Moreover, the child used to live in a full family and your divorce, You are violating his normal life. In any case, it is stressful. If the child is still very small, it will not be so desperately to survive, more likely to feel anxious, but not be aware of the entire situation. It is harder for the middle children 6 – 14 years old, they already understand a lot and worry it does adults. To minimize stress on children after divorce is possible if both parents will be able to observe the following rule.
Give the child attention not less, than before.
Of course for the parent living separately it will be harder to do, but will need to try. Weekends, vacations and holidays does not have to devote only to yourself. But “attention” does not mean to indulge. Children after their parents ‘ divorce very quickly feel their guilt and make use of that, intentionally or not. The child requires compensation for their morale or increase the material requests or raise any unrealistic demands. Take it easy. You will need to give the child to understand and feel that the relationship between adults does not affect Your love for him. If You see that the child’s behavior becomes out of control, consult a specialist. To help solve the problem of child psychologist.
Nothing bad about a former spouse.
The child has the right to love both parents and to consider them the best. The imposition on the child’s negative opinions about the other parent, this is the lowest level of moral and cultural development. Do not go down on her, because in the first place cause You this pain to the child and not the former spouse. Grown-up child will have their own opinion about each of You. And it’s possible to carry a grudge on someone who made him think about the other parent is bad. Conversely, if both parents are respectful to respond about each other, they get to raise a balanced, culturally and psychologically healthy person. Love your child so much that don’t let their grievances to impose on him.
Raising a child is not the matter of one year. But to establish a relationship with him such as You need, in Your power. It so happens that the children after the divorce of his parents grow even more stress than children in complete families. It is the result of the work of their parents. So be a good parent!